This tip, which I share with you in the week of Speech and Health, has a surprisingly powerful effect on how much personal energy and free will I can exercise.

Here’s an example:

“I wanted to take you out for a great dinner for your birthday, but I’m short on cash this week. Let’s just go out for coffee, OK?”

When I catch myself about to use “but” in my speech and make a change to avoid it, I find that I become much more creative. I usually substitute the word “and”, and I notice that a lot more possibilities open up.

“I wanted to take you out for a great dinner for your birthday and I’m short on cash this week. So I went out to my garden and found out everything is ready to be picked. Can I invite you over for a home-made, fresh-from-the-garden meal?”

Using the word “but” blunts my energy and intent; I end up feeling small and stingy. Avoiding it, and in this example substituting the word “and”, keeps the flow going with additional information to guide it; I end up feeling strong, generous.